Amusing Crimes

For some light relief, go read the Police Beat report for August 2, reported at BYU NewsNet. Maybe I'm a little jaded by seeing stories on serial killers and the like every night, but it seems somehow reassuring to know there are places in the world where the following items (taken verbatim) are the best they can come up with for the weekly crime report:

• A tennis racket was reported stolen from the outdoor tennis court. The victim left the racket unattended and upon return, it was missing. There are no suspects.
• Several unknown persons tried to steal coins from a washing machine in Heritage Halls. No money was taken.
• Two vehicles were involved in a minor traffic accident in lot 37. The owners of the cars are working out the damages between themselves.
• A parking officer reported an open container of alcohol in a vehicle near the Harris Fine Arts Center. Upon investigation, police determined the container in question was in fact an empty bottle of maple syrup.
• A fire alarm was reported in Heritage Halls. Police arrived and reset the alarm, which had no apparent reason for being set off.

Comments

[Geoff J]

Upon investigation, police determined the container in question was in fact an empty bottle of maple syrup.

Har!

That's some good police work. Nice post Dave. I laughed out loud.

[Mark IV]

Dave, I agree. It is not only amusing, but also endearing to read the BYU campus police blotter.

The part that isn't funny is when you park your car somewhere you shouldn't. I thought they were going to give me capital punishment for parking in a faculty reserved lot on Sunday. Sunday!!!

[Jared]

No Police Beat is complete without someone exposing themselves--usually in the library.

[BJB]

maple syrup!

[BrianJ]

Let me get this straight: Some invisible, faceless thief chugs down an entire bottle of maple syrup, gets in a wreck because he's DWI, and the collision is so bad that it sets off fire alarms several blocks away? They better catch this guy!